How To Be A Good Friend

 

  • Let them call you at 6 in the morning for nothing; absolutely nothing
  • Have them tell you what they don’t like about you
  • Take hideous photos of them – together
  • Let them talk to you about all the shittiest things in their lives, and not even compare it to yours
  • Listen to their relationship problems
  • Listen to ALL their problems
  • Third wheel their dates
  • Give the best advice, and realize they will never use it
  • Realize you will never get those pens and hair ties back
  • Lend them your shirt after they stained theirs
  • See them without makeup
  • Shopping? Okay! Let’s go shopping
  • Facebook Like their photos
  • All their photos
  • Buy them a drink every once in a while because they’re worth buying a drink for
  • Don’t interrupt, they’re talking!
  • Have them share their secrets and keep them to yourself
  • Make fun of them for those secrets
  • Have an inside joke; a super inside joke
  • Never leave them alone at a bar, no matter how hot he is
  • Carry them out of the club – drunk
  • Laugh at their jokes
  • Laugh at their corny jokes
  • Laugh at everything they say
  • Be there for them even when you need them more
  • ‘Hack’ their facebooks and they wont get mad at you
  • Gossip
  • More gossip
  • Plan attacks to rule the world with them
  • Have weird conversations
  • Take nude photos of them and them delete them
  • Talk to them more in person, than on Facebook
  • Pray that you’ll never have to bail them out of jail
  • Bail them out of jail and have them pay you back 82163 years later
  • Giggle
  • If they’re quitting, jump-kick the cigarette from their mouths
  • Listen, silently disagreeing, to their valued point they’re making
  • Mention that they should be giving speeches on your funeral
  • Push back their hair when they vomit
  • Be okay when they don’t reply to your texts sometimes, because you also do the same
  • Don’t buy them a cat, they will never need it because you’ll be there to replace the loneliness
  • Don’t get upset for waiting for them alone for 6 hours, then ditching you
  • Have drinks with them, plenty of drinks
  • Listen to all their ‘I’m breaking up with X’ and waking up the next day with a text saying they’re back together
  • NEVER ever say goodbye without a kiss
  • Feel super mega ultra lucky you have in your life. Always.

 

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11 thoughts on “How To Be A Good Friend

  1. After reading this, I have come to realize that I am probably the best friend anyone ever had. LOL!!! Except I’m not holding anyone’s hair back. I’m a sympathizer…if you know what I mean, better if I leave the room and send in another friend. Great list!!!!

    Like

  2. Your posts are so dark and I’m loving it. Dark and stormy humor is sometimes the best way to go. Look at me talking as if I actually know anything, when I know next to nothing.

    Like

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