What Happens At 3am

Somewhere around the globe at this very moment, couples are snuggling in bed, a teen is watching TV, a father is catching the last train home, someone’s getting a punch on their face for not being ‘cool’ or burning their tongues while sipping their black coffees. But I, however, is still up doing things I should not be doing at 3 in the fucking morning. Here’s what I do at 3am:

  • Write endless drafts on my blog and not being able  to finish a post because my scumbag brain decides to think about a new post. And if I don’t write my ideas down, in 3 minutes they’ll vanish. O pity me.
  • Google Mochi Ice Cream because I’m craving one now and I wish to have one this instant. So I google the recipes and find out that I don’t have the ingredients at home so I would google again for alternatives. But then I would find out that there are no alternatives, so I would just crawl back into my bed and look at more photos of food and torture myself.
  • Found a new TV show (2 Broke Girls) to be obsessed with on Cucirca.com, I’d lay here and wait for the video to load. But then, I would find another show and load that on a separate window. Then I am trapped in a dilemma of choosing which show to continuously watch for the rest of the night, leaving me with 2 Broke Girls playing and regrets for closing Mad Men.
  • Make Easy DIYs I found on YouTube like stackable bracelets or Cut Off Your T-Shirt Into a Cropped Top.
  • Learn how to Pole Dance with YouTube, without an actual pole.
  • Read Twitter feeds and check who’s having a rough time sleeping early, favorite and re-tweet their posts and not worry for being the only person battling with sleep issues.
  • IM ALONE. WHY AM I ALONE? OH GOD. IM ALONE. IM ALOOONE. HUMANS ARE IN NEED OF AFFECTION.
  • Scare myself with thoughts that I’m dying, which only makes me wrap myself with the blanket like a sushi and bury my head with the pillow.
  • Think about all the ghost stories people have told me and all the horror movies I’ve watched, and makes me wrap myself tighter and stay that way until I can finally think about something else.
  • Worry. Will I like my new course? Will my new classmates like me? Will they make friends with me? Will my money last me through the week of drinking and eating so much food that I now have a food baby? Will I ever get married? Should I tell this guy I like him? Should I go out with him? Should I say yes?
  • Tell myself to start working out tomorrow, but spend the next day watching videos of people working out. (is that weird? I guess so)
  • Make plans for tomorrow. Like, go to the beach or illegally download movies and albums, write a really powerful blog post that would make it to the Freshly Pressed page or eat a Bento box.
  • Talk to my puppy because I don’t have anyone to talk to… at 3am.
  • Think about all the plans I thought about last night that I didn’t get to do today and blame myself for being too lazy.
  • Re-call funny moments with friends and laugh out loud very quietly.
  • Sing songs in my head, or maybe hum a little.
  • Yawn.
  • Yawn a little more.
  • Rub my eyes.
  • Have a genius idea when I’m about to fall asleep, then I’ll tell myself to remember it in the morning. But I wake up and… I forget.
  • Not do anything productive.
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