When In A Bad Mood

What I’d Do:

  • Stay silent until I’m feeling better
  • Curl up into a ball with a book in one hand and tea on the other
  • Eat a one week old, half-eaten chocolate bar in the fridge
  • Make my crappiest coffee ever
  • Cover my face with a pillow and scream
  • Unconsciously raise an eyebrow at every moving object

What I’d LIKE To Do:

  • Punch that $%^&* right in the face
  • Scream at the top of my lungs and not care what’s coming out of my mouth and who’s listening
  • Say a really mind-blowing comeback that he/she would not have a word to reply
  • Drink a bottle of Whiskey, and write drunken thoughts on a self-published blog
  • Have people bring me comfort foods and gather around my bed, watching Dirty Dancing
  • Make Adele write me a song about my mood
  • Hire Bon Iver to play all his songs in my bedroom for the night
  • Go on a ‘Shop til I drop’ shopping spree, with all my favorite stores in one mall
  • Have James Bond kill that $%^&*
  • Play Call of Duty with Francisco Lachowski and I win, then he’ll kiss me until my bad mood goes away
  • Have Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt adopt me
  • Eat blueberry cheesecake
  • Ride a unicorn to the end of the rainbow, beat the shit out of that leprechaun and run away with the pot of gold
  • Produce a really good play, something better than Romeo and Juliet and use heaps of money as tissue to wipe my tears
  • Move to a city with endless happiness and zero problems
  • Have my personal love guru, preferably Mike Myres
  • Discover something really cool and get rich
  • Change my bed sheets to white fluffy ones
  • Ask Morrie Schwartz to talk to me about life
  • Have Starbucks make me anything I want, free.
  • Go clubbing with Anne Curtis, just because.

What I will do NOW:

  • Read a book, watch an action movie – perhaps Batman Begins, and drink water.
  • Believe that unicorns exist
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