Dear Young self,
Right now, I know you are confused. Confused on what to do with that ‘hate letter’ your friend wrote to you. Confused whether or not to tell your mum about it. Confused on what you did that made her so mad. Confused on what happened to your granny. I can’t tell you much. I shouldn’t, in fact. I would just mess up life’s natural cycle. But what I can tell you is this, things are going to work out the way you want them to. Maybe not all, but something better will come along.
You will meet friends. Lots of them. You’ll learn how different people are, and you just have to deal with it, accept it and adjust with them. You’ll realized eventually those people who really loves you, who really cares. Not just for shows. You’ll have different kinds of friends. You have those who you always find yourself with, where you are genuinely happy. You have those where you just have to pretend, for the sake of not wanting to cause any troubles. You have the ones who you find easy to talk to. You have those who you’re going to have awkward conversations with. You have those kind who you try to avoid when you see them in the groceries. Then you’ll have enemies, arguments and gossips spread around. People will talk behind your back, this is normal. Don’t be scared. They’re just little things. Little things that you can overcome.
You’re not getting your heart-broken just yet. But you’ll find people who once made you blush when you see them. But not any more. Things are going to happen between you guys, and it’s going to fall apart. You would think you’ll never go into the relationship stuffs until you are old enough, but you’ll just eat your words. You’re going to meet people. A lot of them. And fall. You’re going to act like he is the ‘right guy’. You’re going to expect things are going to happen between you two. Like going on dinner dates, watch a movie and endless romantic ideas that’s never going to happen. But in the end, you’re going to get your heart bruised, but not broken. He’s either found someone better, or someone easier. You will be sad, of course. But it’s better because you pulled yourself out before actually falling in love. Congratulations.
But you’re going to freak out. You’re going to realize things. You will be scared. People around you are starting to have their lives. Little by little, everyone is going to have that ‘someone’ in their lives but not you. They’ll have that bit taste of heaven. Your sister is going to have her 3rd boyfriend, so as your cousins. Your friends are going to have one for themselves too. Then they’ll fall in love and go on dates, just like how you imagined yourself in. You’ll be a third wheel, even a fifth wheel. And that’s very awkward. As much as possible, avoid going with couples. (ha!) But they are going to get their hearts broken. Most of them. Then they will run to you and talk about their problems and heart aches. But you’ll sit there nodding and unsure of what to say. But you’ll say something that you read online or watched in a movie. It’s going to sound really good at that moment, but looking back, you sound stupid. But it’s okay. Then they will always come to you for relationship and love advice. So often that you become their personal ‘love guru’. I don’t know how it happens, but it will. It will be sad after some time too. People come for their problems but doesn’t stay for yours. It’s going to be painful, I tell you. So you just try to press everything in – making room for something.
The good thing is that you’re headed the right way for your dreams at a young age. People will know how much you love being in stage, so you get to do it. You’ll be in theatre clubs, stage plays, musicals and skits – and really enjoy it. But you wont be a famous superstar, and you won’t date Zac Efron, as far as I can tell. People will also know how much you are into make up so they get you to do their faces in occasions and other things. You even get to be a freelance make up artist at 17. Then you will develop your love for media and everything with arts. You would do silly YouTube make up tutorials and people from your high school will watch them and make fun of you the next day. So you end up deleting them. You’re going to win some contests, and lose ones. You’re going to have people appreciate your talent. And they’ll like you for your attitude, not just your looks.
I guess this is what I’m trying to tell you – what may matter now, wont matter in the future. Don’t stress yourself for one silly thing. You can skip studying for that Math test you have on Tuesday, it’s an open-book quiz. Make mistakes. A lot of them, actually. And learn from them. Do stupid things, you’re only young once. Don’t lose hope for happiness. You will be happy, if you try.